The Ladies in Waiting Book Club is closing down for the summer. We look forward to reading with you again in a few months.
Wishing you a happy summer!
The Ladies in Waiting Book Club Editors
Monday, May 7, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Don't Forget "The Way We See It": Work
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Work is supposed to be a place where I can forget about my struggles at home. Wrong!! I'm constantly in contact with families traveling with young children or coworkers who just had a baby.
When I hear the stories of sleepless nights, sickness, or how you need a sitter to drink, I'm reminded of what I want so badly and is yet so far away.
Work is the one place that I once didn't feel like a failure, but that has since left me feeling like one. I know I am great at my job as I know every guest by name and they actually care about me and how I'm doing. I am constantly wondering, "why me?" and if I can ever find my own sanctuary.
Submitted by Melissa L.
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
Friday, April 27, 2012
Don't Forget "The Way We See It": 1 in 8
Submitted by: Jennifer (www.facebook.com/TurtleHope)
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
Book Review: Silent Sorority
Read and reviewed by Jen K.
Title of Book: Silent Sorority
Author: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
Publisher: BookSurge Publishing
Year of Publication: 2009
Number of pages: 218
Main topics presented: Memoir, coming to terms with unresolved, unexplained infertility, living childfree
Technical Review:
What is the book's format?
- This is a memoir, written chronologically
How is the book organized?
- Chronological organization, loosely interwoven with themes of stages of grief
Writing style?
- Factual, but emotional, with dark humor where she can place it.
What is the author’s experience on the subject?
- As an infertile patient
Does the author have a certain point of view or opinion?
- She is not trying to get you to buy anything, but voices something that has been given VERY little attention – not everyone ends up with a child
What is the book's conclusion/closing statement?
- She concludes without concluding, she has lived without children, and has slowly, come to terms with it, knowing that she will never be able to fully come to terms with it.
Personal Review:
Who would you suggest this book to?
- It was so engaging, I’d recommend it to a broad audience – I might steer away from recommending it to those newly pursuing treatment, for they need the happy ending stories. This is for someone who is considering moving beyond treatment – and for the families (siblings, parents, friends) of people moving away from treatment
How did the book affect you?
- Well, I read it the day before my dang period, so I was in tears! My husband had to ask me to put it down, but I snuck back in bed with a box of tissues and finished it. It was so moving – and while we are on different journeys, my infertility is secondary, she spoke to me in a way I needed – We have given up on treatment, we are ‘moving on’ and accepting that we will be a family of 3… I had thought that I could get over it, and cursed myself for still crying when friends announced their ‘good news’… This book, for me, served as a reminder that I (we!) have been wounded, and the pain will always be a part of who we are.
Is there anything you wish the author(s) had elaborated on?
- While I’d love to know more about her story, they way the memoir was written was perfect, leaving out what was unnecessary. I got a little bored with the blog comments she included, but they did serve a point.
Rate this book on a scale of 1-5 stars. Why do you think it deserves this rating?
- 4 stars – the book was moving, real and on an important, little discussed outcome of infertility.
Don't Ignore "The Way We See It": Even my Mailbox isn't Safe from the Reminder
I have apparently re-cycled on mailing lists, and the database gods think I should be on child #2. Gone are the postcards for photography with the headlines of "your child turning 1!" (or 2! or 3!). A lull in those types of mailings made me think I have cycled off the lists. How wrong I was.
Yesterday, when I opened my mailbox, this box -- a feeding kit for nourishing newborns.
For 30 seconds, as I was pulling this mystery box out of my mailbox, I was wondering what I ordered and had forgot about, or perhaps a late birthday present, or maybe even just a surprise present. All exciting options to think about. And then, I saw the baby on the side of the box, the return address from Similac on the label.
Another painful reminder of what should be so easy, what my body was supposed to be able to do, but can't.
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
Don't Ignore "The Way We See It": Barren Reminder
Submitted by: Monica Wiesblott
Website: My Little Eye
Title: Barren Reminder
"There are 13 children that live within 100 yards of my front door and as soon as the sun sets, the sounds of baths, bedtime play and stories can be heard. These are the sounds that haunt me the most."
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Don't Ignore "The Way We See It": Hard and Impossible
Title: Hard and Impossible
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
Book Review: Conquering Infertility
Read and reviewed by: Elizabeth M. (www.davidandelizabethadopt.blogspot.com)
Title of Book: Conquering Infertility”
Author: __Dr. Alice Domar, PhD, & Alice Lesch Kelly
Publisher: Penguin Books
Year of Publication: 2002
Number of pages: 280
Main topics presented: depression, infertility, mind/body techniques, stress, relationships
Review
Conquering Infertility has been the most helpful book I’ve read so far on the topic of infertility. Even though the book does not offer advice on how to help you actually get pregnant, it is full of ways to help you cope and live as happily as possible while dealing with infertility. Dr. Alice Domar, PhD, is the Executive Director of the Domar Center for Mind/Body Health and the director of Mind/Body Services at Boston IVF, so her perspective comes from her years of working with clients going through infertility and fertility procedures. The book is co-authored by Alice Lesch Kelly. It is written in a very factual tone with the personal stories of many of her clients woven throughout.
If nothing else, Conquering Infertility was extremely helping in confirming that everything I’ve been thinking and feeling through this process is completely normal! She covers just about every frustrating facet, from the stress of hearing about and living with pregnant/fertile women, the difficulties it brings to a marriage, friends and family relationships, spiritual questioning and even the financial pressure it brings. The most helpful chapter of all for me was Chapter 2, “A Toolbox Full of Coping Skills,” where she describes numerous ways to use mind/body techniques to deal the pressure, depression and anxiety that often accompany infertility. I immediately began implementing tools such as mini-relaxations, mindfulness and cognitive restructuring techniques with much personal success. My only complaint would be the author’s discouragement of pursuing alternative healing routes and emphasis on traditional fertility treatments as the main pathway to overcoming infertility. However, this was a minimal problem for me since, again, her focus in on the mental and emotional aspects of infertility.
I would recommend this book to anyone dealing with any part of the infertility process, but especially for those currently going through treatment. I would give it 5 stars because of the great deal of advice and practical tips that can help make living with infertility much more manageable.
Don't Ignore: "The Way We See It": Unknown
UNKNOWN
After 13 long years
It is still unknown
Will I ever parent?
Where do I belong?
For what do I plan?
And so I live in a world of the in-between
Not single or newlywed
Not parents yet not child-free
Not knowing
Childless
Is this my career my calling
No, a job with the benefits I want
Should parenthood find me
But what if not
What if
If I were child-free
I would change my job
Probably sell my house
Return to the city
Where I do feel at home
The unknown leaves me waiting
Though beyond even wanting
Lacking control yet feeling guilty
For not making decisions and plans
Guilty
If only I knew the answer
I could trade my guilt for action
Could know where I will fit
Could plan for tomorrow
Empowered
Some days I am so tempted
To forsake any hope of parenthood
For the knowing that comes
When child-less is traded
Once and for all
For child-free
Submitted by: Lara
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Don't Ignore "The Way We See It": Worst Possible Pain
After 9 years of infertility, I finally became pregnant via IVF. With triplets. While shocked, my husband and I could not have been any happier. We were finally going to have our family after almost a decade of waiting. We thought "getting pregnant" was the hard part. Until we started losing our babies one at a time.
We lost our daughter, Eve, early in the second trimester.
We lost our son, Caleb, late in the second trimester - nearly into the third.
At our perinatologist's office there is a sign in every exam room. I've gazed at it dozens of times while I've waited to hear more bad news. "It's worse." "It's bigger." "She's going to die." "He's going to die." "Shunt." "Non communicating." "Brain surgery." "It's over."
I have one living baby in my body and still carry the bodies of my two unborn and still babies. And when I go to the doctor I see the same sign. I can't help but think...
10
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
Don't Ignore "The Way We See It": Pain
Don't Want
What I don't want.
I don't want someone to tell me why don't you adopt.
I don't want to be told I need to be married first.
I don't want that pity look when I tell you my secret.
I don't want someone saying go to the bar and time it right.
I don't want to be alone anymore.
Stop saying I don't want because I Do Want a baby.
Submitted by: Gabrielle Lasko
Title of Photo: Pain
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
Don't Ignore "The Way We See It": Before and After
Before:
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After:
Many people think that solutions for infertility come easy and as expected. Can't get pregnant? Adopt! Do IVF! Little do they know how many thousands of dollars, how many failed adoptions, how many empty syringes, how many lost babies, how many failed treatments resolving infertility might take. And resolving one's infertility can take a form that you never imagined when you first began. Infertility is neither easy nor does it end as expected.
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Show us the world from your eyes and join "The Way We See It" Photography Project during National Infertility Awareness Week (April 22-28, 2012).
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
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