While reading the story of Julia's father-in-law who was a child when Sarah came back to the apartment, I wonder how I would have reacted if it was I who witnessed the scene in the apartment when Sarah came back. We learn that he and his father never spoke of it again and he even didn't tell his wife and children. We learn the French are very reserved in this regard. Would you have acted like this, or felt more passionate like Julia?
I never would have been able to just not talk about it for 50 years. That would about kill me. Even reading the story was hard enough I talked about it for days!!!
ReplyDeleteIt seems as though it is French culture to keep secrets and not talk about a lot of things. I am French by heritage, but in this regard, I am completely American. I'd have to talk.
ReplyDeleteThe experience of Sarah coming back and their discovery was traumatic and I wonder how it may have affected other areas of their lives that weren't spoken of in the book. Those hidden secrets always seem to present themselves in odd ways.
I definitely wouldn't have been able to hold it in! I would have definitely needed to talk about it. Although I do think it's very realistic that it was the MEN in particular in the story that couldn't bring themselves to talk about it because it seemed easier to pretend the problem wasn't there.
ReplyDelete@Elizabeth: That's an interesting observation. It is a stereotype that men don't like to talk, but it's a stereotype that exists because it's often true. My husband is definitely the quiet, reserved one in our family.
ReplyDeleteGood point!
I would like to think I would shout it from the rafters but if I were that little boy, with a family who reacted the way they did, I may have done the same. The father tried to do his best to help with anonymous financial aid to Sarah. He kept the secret from Mame in the hopes she wouldn't feel the burden of the guilt. I feel like her knowledge was worse because she didn't show much remorse or sadness about it. In this way, the female was less sensitive than the male. Even between the two sisters of Bernard, one was all about sticking her head in the sand.
ReplyDeleteMy family is very French. I grew up with secrets that I would discover by accident or when someone could no longer keep his or her silence. Funny, I remember being told one juicy secret once and I swore to keep it quiet. A few years later, I discovered that the same conversation had happened with all the other family members and we all thought that each person was the only one who knew!
ReplyDeleteI can keep others secrets easily, but when it comes to something very serious involving me, I prefer to share. I need the support of my friends and family. Keeping something to yourself can be very taxing - physically, emotionally, and mentally. And it makes one wonder why are you hiding this info? Secrets just have a negative connotation in general.
As far as putting myself in that place at that time. I probably would have kept it a secret to a point - one in protecting Sarah during that time but once the danger was over, I would have needed to see her and talk to her. If I had experienced it from Sarah's place - I don't know. I think I would have wanted to share it with someone I was close to but having witnessed such horrors and having that guilt, who knows what it did to her psyche. She tried to escape by having a new life, but we know how that worked out.