I think both cultures value family but the English kind of all move away from each other and don't stay together as a family unit for life where the Pakistani stay as a unit forever. But I think the value of the family is in both groups and the family arguments are there too in both groups.In this book you see both the disagreements over wills and leaving your things after you die. Major Pettigrew doesn't like how his dad split up the guns. Mrs. Ali's family doesn't like that her husband left the store to her. I think maybe in this you see that there are just differences in opinions all around. It isn't the culture! I liked how Grace and Mrs. Ali exchanged clothes in this book. How much fun was that for both of them.
I think the big dinner party was a convergence of the two cultures. Memories of a historical event vary greatly between the Brit and Pakistani. Though it seemed that the people with a foot in each culture were the most understanding and the only ones able to diffuse the situation.